Saturday, June 5, 2010

At last ! >.< Memory Before the Graduation 2 is done !

is done ! is done ! and I will share it to you ! Hai ! I guess this would be my last attempt of making a love story .. I guess .. Okay ? xD

I am still working with my story 'Teddy Bear' . Please comment, appreciate or criticize . You can rant here too . Weeee - Enjoy reading !


It all started with a sudden confession.

"I like him!"

She didn't know that I was there. I heard her say it. That she liked me. Ciara liked me! She turned around and when she saw me, she turned red and ran away from me. Her friends were giggling because of what happened. A confession. But she didn't mean to do it.


Ever since that day, she never talked to me. Whenever she was around, the atmosphere becomes awkward. When I approached her one time, she unexpectedly ran away. I was just going to give her the list of the students' names.

She was actually a good friend of mine. We were not that close but she did one thing that annoyed me: messing my hair all of a sudden. She kept telling me that my hair was nice. It was not a problem but she would say.. "It's like I'm petting a dog!"

Ever since that day, when she said that she liked me, she never touched my hair. I thought it was a relief. She never spoke to me again.I don't know why but everyday I kept wondering if she would ever talk to me. Days passed and then months. We finished the third year of high school and she was still not talking to me.


Then all of a sudden, I felt something weird. One day, she got sick and had to absent. I felt uneasy and kept thinking about her. The next day, I waited for her to come to school. It was really weird. When finally she went to school, I found myself looking at her for a very long period of time. Then, she turned to me and suddenly, I felt my heart beat fast.

One thing was for sure: I have to stop thinking about her. Time went by fast and all we knew was three months after, we would all be graduates. I heard my classmates discussing about the scrapbook. It was a habit of every graduating class to create a scrapbook.


I remembered the time when Ciara and I scanned the scrapbook created by a class 4 years ago. They said that the habit of scrap booking started from them.

"Isn't it sad? Bryan has to die. But it's sweet to think that they were not that close but they both became special memories to each other, right?" she said. I was just silent. Being sweet and romantic is not really my thing.

"Do you know how to take pictures?" Out of nowhere, she asked me that question.
"I don't own a camera," I replied.
"Too bad! I thought you could be Bryan! Then you will take pictures of the one you like!" she enthusiastically said.

I was silent again. I never liked anyone. It was a bother anyway. Liking someone is a hindrance to study. I knew it because a friend of mine had liked someone and he got failing grades. He can't stop thinking about the girl he liked and so, he couldn't concentrate.

Ciara closed the letter and suddenly asked me, "Hey Gian! What's the last thing you want to do before you graduate?"
"I don't know. You?" I bounced off the question.
She touched my hair and said, "I will mess your hair!"

She was really a weird person. But I wonder if she could still do it: messing my hair for the last time.


The whole class were busy doing their projects while others were preparing the materials for the scrapbook. Suddenly, a classmate of mine handed me his digital camera and told me to take pictures of our classmates. He saw me doing nothing so he asked for my help. I said it was alright. When he went away, there was a huge revelation that occurred me. I had to take pictures of each of our classmates. It also meant that I had to take a picture of Ciara. I tried to return the camera but he told me that everyone else was busy so I really had to do it.


She was the only one left. I approached her and told her that I had to take a picture of her. She turned red and nodded. I didn't understand but my hands were shaking that time. She looked at the lens but never showed a smile. Then suddenly I remembered her saying about me taking pictures of the one I like. I hurriedly clicked the camera and left immediately. When I looked at the picture, it was blurred. Probably because my hands were shaking. I leaned on the wall and thought of another way to get her picture.


"You want me to take a picture of Ciara?" I asked a friend of her to take her picture instead of me. Luckily, he said yes. He was actually Ciara's seatmate. I think he was close to her becuase they always talked, even during class.

When he had finish taking the picture, he handed me the camera. I looked at the picture and saw the image of Ciara, smiling. She didn't smile when I was the one who took it.


One month left and we still hadn't talked. It was then that I really felt awkward. Her seatmate was taking pictures of her and I would see that smile. What was wrong with me? I can't help it but everytime I see them, I was so annoyed. Then her words kept repeating in my head : "Too bad! I thought you could be Bryan! Then you will take pictures of the one you like!".. There was also this one time when I have to take some materials from Ciara's seatmate and I spoke to him harshly. Everyone was surprised. Including Ciara.


The scrapbook was finished and we only got a week for our graduation. Our final week as high school students. We scanned our scrapbook and laughed. We remembered the time when we had our camping and we had to throw ourselves unto the muddy ground to look for a coin. We also had our Christmas caroling and won the second place! As we looked at the photos, I've noticed something. There were no photos of me and Ciara together. If there was, it was our class picture. I sighed and walked away as the rest of the class looked at the scrapbook. I just went around the campus and always thought of Ciara. I was always annoyed when she was with me. When I realized that we hardly had a memory together during our last year, I regretted not speaking to her first. I should have made the first move. Maybe she was still ashamed.
I kicked a stone and watched it roll. I've made up my mind. I was going to talk to her.


I ran back to the class. I have to talk to her! I needed to tell her I was sorry for keeping her waiting. I stopped and realized something. Maybe.. Maybe the reason why I always felt awkward, why I cared for her too much, why I was feeling uneasy when she's with her seatmate.. Maybe because.. I liked her.. The question was :
"Does she still like me?"

I hurried and saw something that made me stop. Ciara and her seatmate were together, hugging each other.


Three days left and we would be graduates. I was still pissed about what happened. I was more pissed when she suddenly approached me. She took my hand. I was so angry that I shoved her away and walked out. She was standing there and I could feel that she was crying that time.


Ciara was silent ever since that day. Even during the graduation, she was just staring in blank space. Her friends would ask her what was wrong but she would just fake a smile and say "I'm alright! I'm just sad because we will be separated after this."


I have never seen Ciara after the graduation. I returned to our classroom after two weeks to pick up some things. I borrowed the keys from our adviser and opened the door. The first thing I saw when I went inside was the scrapbook. I scanned the pages and tried to look for pictures of Ciara. I missed her so much. Her annoying attitude, her incomprehensible thoughts and most importantly, the way she messed my hair. She didn't have the chance to mess it for the last time. I scanned the pages and saw something in the last page. It was like a book. When I opened it, I realized that it was a diary. I read it and found out a shocking revelation : The owner of the diary I was reading was Ciara !
The further I read the more I hated myself ..

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

First day of my third year high school ! Wow ! XD I am so excited because I have a new diary ! I lost my first diary because I was too careless .. I hope no one in my class has read it ! Most of the time, I always wrote about Gian .. Yeah ! He's my first crush ! And I think my first love ! And I don't ever wanna confess to him because I know that it would be awkward .. And I don't think he will like me back ! ...

Date : xx/xx/xxx

I was with Gian today ! We went to the fourth year building to do an errand for our adviser. I pulled him when I saw the scrapbook made by a class .. Then, I've read the letter of Bryan ! I remembered my cousin telling me about the story of Bryan .. It was soo sweet and sad ! I asked Gian if he knows how to take a picture .. He said he don't own a camera .. Same here ! But another problem why I can't take a picture is .. I have shaky hands and somewhat clumsy .. XP .. Anyway, it's a very nice day because I was with Gian !! So happy !!

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

Argh ! I failed an exam ! It's normal, anyway .. I looked at Gian's paper and saw that he got the highest score ! Wow ! No wonder he's my undying crush (or love .. XD) !! I touched his hair and he got annoyed ! He should be used to it now ! I just love his hair ! I remembered the first time I touched it ! I lost my favorite dog and cried during class .. Gian approached me and said that I was noisy .. I was not really in the mood to talk to anyone .. I just cried and then he said "Shut up!" .. I was annoyed ! So I pulled his hair .. When I touched his hair, I felt comforted .. It felt like my dog's head (Oops ! I was being rude !) .. Ever since that day, I've always touched his hair .. And he will always get angry with me .. (Which was kinda cute <3!)>

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

Grrrr ! I hate myself ! How can I be so careless ! A girl from my class found my diary from before and asked me about Gian ! They kept on teasing and finally I've erupted ! I said it ! I said it ! I can't believe it ! When I tuned around, I saw him ! He heard me say it ! That I like him ! I am such an idiot ! I will talk to him and tell him it was just a joke ! A misunderstanding ! I can do it !

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

In the end, I can't. The moment I look at him, my heart beats fast ! Argh ! I just ruined my friendship with him ! Stupid ! STUPID !

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

He approached me ! He wanted to talk to me ! But what did I do ? I ran ! I am such a coward !! I could have say "Thank you" but I didn't ! He was just going to give a list but I ran away !! What is wrong ?!

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

I still can't talk to him ! Argh ! I'm finding it hard to write here now .. It felt like I was just writing for him ..

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

I've got an idea ! I will write even the simplest thing he does ! In this way, I could still remember him even though we didn't have moments together !!

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

It's the end of the third year ! He's our top student ! Girls were screaming when his name was called ! I have lots of opponents ! Grr ! But Gian does look cool ! ^^

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

It's vacation time and I can't take my mind off him ! Argh !

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

It's finally school time ! We're classmates again ! I am so happy ! But still I can't talk to him .. T___T

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

I got sick ! I wonder what is happening now .. I wish I was there .. I’m missing him so much ! Is this what we call love sick ?

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

He said that his going to take a picture of me ! Waaaaa ! I could feel my heart beating sooo fast ! I was expressionless ! I wanted to burst into tears ! I wanted to laugh ! I don't understand what I was feeling ! After he took my picture, he ran away .. I wonder how I look .. Weird, probably .. * sigh *

I opened the next page and pictures of me with Ciara fell. I then realized. When her seatmate was taking pictures of her, he was actually taking pictures of us together..

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

I asked my seatmate to take pictures of me together with Gian ! We don’t have pictures together so at least, by this way, I can have a memory with him. I can’t see his smile.. I wish I could bring a smile on his face .. =(

I looked at the pictures. These were the times when I was really pissed off. Perhaps, because of jealousy.

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

It our final week ! Weee ! I wanted to talk to Gian but he went away .. I wonder what was wrong .. And yeah .. =( My seatmate’s brother died because of an accident .. He just discovered a while ago .. I tried to comfort him but he just can’t stop crying ..He has always been close with his brother .. =(

So that was the reason! Argh! How can I be so stupid?!

Date : xx/xx/xxxx

I approached him .. I wanted to give him the pictures which were taken by my seatmate .. But .. He shoved me away .. He hates me .. I am such an idiot ! What do I expect ? It’s been more than a year since we last talked ! It was all my fault why I can’t talk to him ! I am stupid ! STUPID !

As I read this page, I knew that she was crying while writing that one. The words were blurry and had smudges on it ..

.. If only I could tell him ... because it would be .. and I don’t want .. good-bye ..

I didn’t understand it ! What does she mean? Good-bye?


That was the last entry she wrote. I looked at the pictures again. “Memories with me?” I whispered. I was full of anger and depression that I threw the pictures. She was trying her best to create memories with me. But the only memory I gave her was when I made her cry before our graduation. Was she going to go away? She was leaving? I ran and ran. I don’t know where but it was the first time I desperately wanted to see someone, wherever she were. I stumbled but I stood again, still running. My nose was already bleeding. Where should I go?


To love is to be helpless and finding yourself pathetic. You can’t think properly. You feel stupid and dumb. For the first time in my life, I felt like an idiot. I asked her friends but they didn’t know where she was. Where are you, Ciara?


It has been four years. I was about to graduate. I took Photography as my course. I never thought I’d take it but I did. I saw the world in different angles and realized that it is beautiful. Another reason why I took Photography was her. That one day, I’d meet her again and would be able to take pictures of her, of the one I like.


I turned around, still holding my camera. It was a gentle voice, a familiar one. It was a voice I heard a long, long time ago. She was facing me, the light was against her. I didn’t recognize her at first.

“I heard that you took Photography but didn’t believe it. Wow. You.. You’re taking pictures now?”

I was still silent.

“I.. suppose you don’t remember me .” She took a deep breath. “If I were you, I’d barely remember me, too. I’m.. I.. Sorry..”

She started to walk away but I took her hand and looked at her face closely.

“I just went here because.. I promised to myself before that.. I would do one thing before graduation.” Then she started to mess my hair. She was smiling but the tears were falling down her cheeks. Then she whispered, “I miss you.. a lot.”

“Ci.. Cia..” I could not say her name. She just stood there, smiling.

“I’m sorry it took so long,” she said, “I could not find the courage to talk to you. Three days before our graduation, I didn’t know what to do. I thought you hated me and I was not able to build my courage to talk. So I decided that I would just study out of the country. Because it would only hurt me if I stayed where you are there. But it bothered me. I wanted to talk to you but I couldn’t and I was so ashamed of myself. That’s why, here I am. Helpless and pathetic.”

To love is to be helpless and finding yourself pathetic. I was seeing it in her.

“I’m sorry,” I finally talked. I took something out from my bag. It was something I kept with me always. I handed her what she owned in the first place. She was holding her old diary. She stared at it and to me. She was about to say something when I blurted out the words I wanted to say a long, long time ago.

“Ciara, I like you.”

It ended with a confession.


That was my memory before the graduation.


LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR
iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

Friday, May 28, 2010

That Causes Wonder

It starts with a pause
A glitter in one’s eyes
Wonders around us
Take us to the best of our lives

But I rather see your smiling face
After looking through such sight
It won’t stay long, I know
But so is your delight

A smile from a stranger’s lips
A hi from a friend’s words
Small things will not matter now
But without them, big things also won’t

Take me to where you find happiness
‘Cause everyone else would go there soon
But I’d stay here now, beside yo
Like the earth’s revolving moon

I would want to take your hand
But I’d also want to keep it distant
I want to see you fly
And be there to catch you when you land

How much happiness, that I don’t know
As long as I’m happy, I won’t have to weigh or measure
‘Cause who would take the time to count
Once you find your greatest treasure?

Look further
Look closer
Everywhere is a mystery
Waiting to be discovered

Dream no matter
Reach out highe
Everyone is alone now
If he doesn’t wander

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR
iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

A Fragment of Un-loneliness

If I was to commit one crime
This loneliness I tried to hide
I’d steal you away from them
And never return

If I was to commit one sin
I’d envy who you have been
Because you never felt alone
Deep inside it burns

But who am I to do those
To find a friend, no one knows
I wanted you to stay but you went
Well, I’m alone again

You understood me but not what I feel
I need you here but let your will
Go ‘cause that’s what you want
Oh when will this ever end?

You but a piece of paradise
At least I got to try
To actually feel un-lonely
Yet, when will it happen .. again?

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR
iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?


Never knew it'd be useful
Never thought it'd save me
Never assumed it'd help
Never, but it did

'Cause the silence you caused?
It fades together with what I feel
'Cause the words you said to me?
They're unheard beyond what's real

The only thing I could hear
Not the lyrics from my playlist's songs
But the heart that once beat fast
Slowly recovering from what's wrong

Let the music consume this soul
Let the headphones save me from myself
Because you did not do a good job
Now, what I need is these headphones' help

No matter how loud you'd scream
No matter how long you'd stay
Turned the volume full
So I won't hear you say

At least the rhyming words
Make sense than yours
You could take them back now
Because I don't hear them anymore

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR
iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

How Everything

Was breaking.
I was desperately searching for your presence
But all I found was an empty space trapped in four walls
A music I thought I'd never hear played
Took its reign once more as everything falls

To pieces.
This silence is making me feel you more than less
I'd think I heard your footsteps in those nights I lost
I could feel the warmth from the summer air
I want to know if you miss me at the moment because

I do.
The window is too wide and the door is still open.
Would I be here waiting in this room if I knew?
I can't hear any other sound 'cause all I want is to listen
Even in your silence I could feel the beating I do

Not know.
Because I forgot.
How it felt.
To be with you.

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR
iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Fixing It Out


Their voices were louder this time. Both were just shouting, not even listening to each other's words.

"Why can't you do it this time? You know, I'm sick and tired of this! We keep arguing about this and that. This can never work out. Maybe.."
"Maybe what? Divorce? You want to get divorced?" He made a giggle. "Sure! It would be my pleasure!"
"See? See? You even say those things! You want to have a separation! You bastard! I hate you!" She fell to her knees, crying. The silence was making the atmoshpere more tense. Then out of nowhere, they heard a sound.


"What was that?" He asked, trying to locate where the sound was coming from.


"A thief?" She shuddered, slowly pulling herself up. Then she remembered her 12-year old daughter. "Kelly?" Where's Kelly?! Oh my.. Kelly!" She ran out of the door followed by her husband.

Thud. They searched the house and failed to find their only daughter. The guy took the nearest weapon, a golf club, and tried to see what or who was making the sound. His wife was crying helplessly, worried about the kid.

"She must have.. she must have heard us. This is all your fault!" She glared at her husband, blaming the kid's disappearance to him.
"Why is it my fault?!" He shouted.
"If you just fixed the roof, we wouldn't be fighting right now! Kelly won't be missing! Oh my goodness! She must have heard about the divorce. She must have been so upset!"
"You brought the topic up! And I was so damn tired! You think it's easy fixing a friggin' roof?!" They started shouting again and stopped only when they noticed that the thudding stopped.

The door opened and when they saw who was at the door, the wife ran to hug her. The husband looked at his kid who was sweating and dirtied.

"Where in the world did you go?! We were so worried!" The wife exclamied. She noticed the kid's hands, bruised and wounded, the right hand still clutching a hammer.

The kid just smiled and said, "I fixed the roof. Now, you don't have to fight with dad."

The wife looked at her husband, sobbing. The adults were silenced by their daughter's action.

The golf club fell from the husband's hand together with his tears. He went to his wife and daughter and hugged them tightly. The three of them were silently crying.


LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeRiF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?



"If ever you need me, just call me. I'll be there to save you!"

This statement repeated in her head.

"I need you."

She touched her cellphone gently, unable to decide if she'd use it or not. She slowly pressed the keypads with the numbers she just had to dial so she'd be saved. Waited.

"Pick up the phone. Please."

Finally, someone took the phone call.

"Uhmm.. I.."
"Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm at a party. Wait. Jamie? Jamie, is that you?"
"Is everything all right? Jamie? Please answer. Jamie?"
"Of course, everything's all right! I just wanted to know where you are now. I was worried. Hahaha. Sorry. Did I disturb you?"
"No no. It's fine. Are you sure everything's all right?"
"Yeah! Why would I lie? I just got worried. That's all." She cracked a smile. Even though no one was there to see it, she needed to be assured. She needed to pretend to herself that whatever she was saying was indeed the truth.
"Uhm. Okay. I need to go back now. Please take care okay?"
The line was off. As the phone made that blip sound, tears fell from her eyes.
"No. I'm not fine. I.. I need you. I can't.. I.. Save me. Please." She wept.

Why? Why can't I be honest with her? I needed her. Why did I lie? Was it because she was enjoying herself and I would just disturb her? Was it because I was scared that I would just make her feel bad because I was hurting? But she told me to call her when I need her. She told me that she'd save me. Then..

She took her phone again and dialed the number. But before she could press the last two numbers, she cancelled it.

"It'll be fine." She took a deep breath and hugged her knees to keep herself warm.
The rain was pouring together with her tears.


LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeRiF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Holding Hands

[ this is not a story that has a specific plot nor characters. this is simply a really short story that shows directly the importance of a certain thing. like now, the meaning of holding hands for me is being told in this story. xD enjoy ! ]


And they were drenched by the pouring water. The guy hugged the girl tightly, not sure what was happening.

"Can I.. tell you a secret?" the girl whispered.
"I'm going to die soon."

The raindrops seemed to be louder than ever for the guy.
"Don't say that," he said, uneasy about the girl's statement.
"Yeah. I shouldn't. Haha.. I was just kidding. I'm gonna live longer."

She pushed herself away from the tight embrace of her companion. She smiled. Her hair was wet. Even in that situation, she seemed to glow together with the moon and stars.

"I'll try to outlive you," she continued, "but I'll only try. So you won't have to lose me."
The guy was puzzled. He was scared of what she was saying. He was afraid that she.. she would go away.

They walked together. Their footsteps made a splashing sound as they hit the puddles created by the rain. Out of nowhere, the guy felt her hand upon his. She was holding it tightly. He couldn't take the situation anymore and faced the girl.

"Tell me," he said, "tell me what's happening. Tell me why you are being like this."

The girl just smiled.

"Please." He said with a low voice.

"I.." the girl started, "I hold the hands of people I trust when, I feel that I am about to lose them, when I feel that I need company but most of the time, I hold them when.. I'm scared. But.." she took a deep breath. "I know I should not be scared. Because it would only bother me. It would not help me if I let the fear rule over me. However, I can't do that alone. So I take some courage from other people.. by holding their hands."

The guy placed both of his hands to hers.
"I don't know how much courage I have.. But I'm willing to give them all to you."
She smiled.

"Thank you."


LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeRiF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

Friday, March 26, 2010

... And They Painted Together.

... And they painted together.

He was standing in front of his previous school, uneasy about going inside. It’s been a year. A lot could change in a year. He decided to go that place instead. At least no one would be there, he guessed. He went there and stood in front of the huge wall.

“So it’s still here, huh?” he whispered.

Then he heard a sudden splash. He turned around and saw that someone was covering the mural with white paint.

“Eh?!” The guy, holding a can of paint, looked at Jerry closely.
“Ray?” Jerry asked.
“Jerry?! Is that you?” Ray let go of the can and went to his friend.
“Wow! You.. You came back. Are you here for vacation? But it’s still January.” Ray hugged Jerry. Jerry’s shirt was messed with white paint.
“Uh.. Sorry about that.” Ray apologized.
“It’s normal for artists to be messed up with colors. Don’t worry,” he looked at the mural and asked Ray what he was doing.
“Uh.. Actually, someone’s fixing it.” He swayed back and forth.
“I.. I need to go. Really, uhmm. Nice seeing you again, Jerry. This is too unexpected. Well, gotta go.”

Jerry was about to follow when he heard another splash. He looked around and saw her.
She stopped, too.

“A-Al..” Jerry caught his breath.
“You.. You’re..” Allie couldn’t bring the words together, too.

For a while, they just stood there, staring at each other’s presence.
Jerry broke the silence.

“You did not change. You.. You still splash white paint to.. whatever I paint. You know-” before he could finish what he was going to say. He was covered with white paint already.

“Wa-why are.. Why.. You’re here..” Allie was blushing already.
“Seriously, how many times do you have to..” Jerry stopped when Allie started crying.
“Eh!! Why are you crying? Hey, I was just.. Really, it’s nothing.” He took a can of paint and bathe himself with it.
“Stupid.” She whispered.
He moved closer to her and said, “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
She looked at him, puzzled.

“I could never stop myself from.. loving you.” He bowed and turned away, ashamed of what he just said.

He could sense that Allie was laughing.

“Thank you for.. not stopping.”

He smiled and turned back to her. Then to the wall.

“Why are you covering the wall with white paint?” he asked.
“Fixing it..” she replied.
“” He remembered the times Allie would splash white paint everytime he tried to fix her painting.
“You’re fixing it.. into what this time?” Jerry said, as if he was unsure of whatever Allie is doing.
“Fixing it into what it should be,” she started splashing white paint to the wall. She looked at him and said, “What are you doing? I need help fixing this.” Then smiled.

When everything was finally white, Allie turned to Jerry.

“I was always scared to love because.. I’m not sure if people really love me. And if they do love me, I was hurting them. All my life, I was full of fear. To be hurt and to hurt. But.. Love is like a painting. People think they know what it is all about. But unless you yourself try to paint it, you will never know what it means. You need a lot of paint, a lot of effort.”

She handed him a brush.

“Will you.. paint it.. with me?” she turned red while asking him.
“Well,” he looked at the wall, “love is a lot bigger than this wall.” He looked at Allie.
“It would take us a lifetime, though.”

Allie smiled. They took their brushes.

... And they painted together.


LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR

iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

... She painted. (The Last Chapters)

... She painted.

It has been a year since he left. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe I was never meant to fall for anyone. Because they try so hard for me. To the point that they hurt themselves for me.


“Allie! The principal wants to talk to you.”
That time, when I was keeping myself from other people, I met him.
“The school needs some artists to paint a mural for our school. It is for Valentine’s. I hope you will cooperate for this project,”
I looked at him and observed his actions. He was trying his best to escape from the project. Is he trying to avoid me?
“I.. I think I’m not good enough to paint a mural, ma’am. I.. I.. I can draw but not that good,” he said.
Jerry Gomez.. I once heard his name before. He won some of the contests about painting. To actually say that he is not good. Is he trying to be humble or more arrogant by being humble? Tch.
I can’t believe I have to do this project.. with a guy! I could have done this alone. But I have to be stuck with this.. person.
“Let’s.. Let’s do our best, eh!” he said.
Yeah, right. I don’t know why but I just hate boys. They remind me.. of him. And I hate it when they try so hard to please me. Don’t they know that I don’t want them proving something just because they thought it would please me?
The first day was kind of irritating. I was painting something already when this Jerry person tried to re-do it. I splashed it with white paint. He kept telling me about love and stuff and what I was doing was wrong. That was the first time a guy tried to correct me. He could talk to me like I was just like him, a student, an artist.. Not someone popular. Not someone special. Just me.
It was weird how I like his company. I even tried hassling the project by contradicting his ideas. I kept splashing white paint whenever he tried painting. One day, I failed to keep my serious facade and laughed. For the longest time, I finally laughed. And it was with a guy. With him.
Just as things were becoming better for me, I saw him. He was the first person I liked so much. He told me he liked me,too. But he changed. He told me that I was like any other girls. He thought I was not the type of person who would fall for him so he got bored and stuff. I was.. stunned. And I tried to change myself. I was being stupid and actually waited for him when he transferred school. But I became bitter. I kept remembering his words and I told myself that when guys confess to me, I’d never believe them. I would not accept them. I started hating them. And there he was..
I went to him and asked how was his life in his new school. He was with another girl that time. I was not shocked anymore. The blindfold had finally been taken and I could see that he never loved me like I did. He said it was fine. He then asked me if I was with Jerry. He told me that Jerry was stalking me from before and he could always see him peeping in the club’s room.
“The guy was familiar and when I saw you with him, I was surprised. You’re still that same girl from before, Allie. You just can’t help but believe people who s-”
Before he could finished his sentence, I slapped him. It was enough to hear those words once. I ran away from him. Maybe he was right. Maybe I could not help but believe when people tell me that they love me. Because, maybe I wanted them to. But now, I’m unsure if they do. I couldn’t tell if they love me or not. Then I stopped in the park. I cried and cried. Then I felt someone was coming. It was Jerry. Was he really stalking me? Did he like me from before? He then started saying things about how an idiot the guy I liked from before. I told him to shut up. I knew he didn’t know him. He didn’t know him so he couldn’t just judge him. I ran. I was starting to feel dizzy and the next thing I knew, I was already in my house.


I touched the wall where the only memory I had with him was painted. I started crying knowing that he did this to prove that.. he loves me. But I didn’t want to believe him. I was still scared that maybe one day, just like before, he would say that it was just a lie. That he didn’t really love me. Maybe he did but he changed.
And I wondered, because I was falling. When he said he loved me, I couldn’t deny the fact that I was happy. But I told him to stop. Because I hurt him.


It was the second time I felt really.. loved. My dad loved me so much that.. he risked his life because I told him I wanted art materials for my birthday. It was raining that day. He was driving to our house. He was hugging the gift he was supposed to give me. But he met an accident and was not able to give it to me personally.
I didn’t want the paint and brushes and crayons. I didn’t want them anymore. But he bought those for my sake. I.. I don’t like people doing something for me when they are risking themselves. It would only hurt me to see them hurt.
Jerry loved me. And the truth, I did too. He was the only person to talk to me as.. me. Not as Allie the famous artist. The campus crush. He even liked me before I could have met him. But, I don’t want to lose him like how I lost my dad. So I told him to stop.


“Why are you painting?”
A freshman approached me as I was painting in the arts club’s room. She was slender and had curly hair. It was like staring at a doll, a talking one.
“Bored, probably.” I added a little green to the yellow paint and brushed it to the canvas.
“No, I mean. Why do you paint?”
I faced her, quite surprised of her questioning. Is she a new member here, I thought.
“Well, I..” I thought deep. Why do I paint?
The girl sat beside me and took a brush. She took some papers and brushed it with colors.
“Some artists make their works hard to understand. That’s because they want people to figure it out not with just one look. They want people to keep on looking at the painting until they understand the story why it was painted. But only few look harder.”
I don’t know why she kept babbling about painting but I just listened to her. She then stared at me.
“I heard that the mural in that huge wall was painted for you. Have you finally understood its story?”
She was referring to the mural painted by him. I never really thought of knowing the story about the mural. But now that she mentioned it..
“I kept staring at it for months now. I couldn’t understand it at first because it was just colors and random images. But a guy who happens to be a friend of the artist told me the story,” she said
I got curious and asked her what the story was.
“He said that it was about a girl who lost interest to her world. She was just silent and never felt happy. She started taking the colors out of her life and threw it everywhere. She was unaware that someone was picking those colors and tried to reassemble it. But that person couldn’t figure it out. Only the girl know how to fix it. So that person kept all the colors together and showed it to the girl. It belonged to her after all. It’s up to her now if she would fix it. But that is not the end of the story,” she smiled and threw the papers she painted with different colors to the air.
“The person who was collecting the colors saw a different world. A colorful one and the colors he kept made his world colorful as well. So he thanked the girl for making his world nicer and more wonderful as it was.”
She looked at me and held my hand.
“The person who told me the story said that the girl in the story was you. And the person who was collecting the colors was the guy who painted the mural. Are you going to fix it?”
I was speechless. I just stared at her as tears started to fill my eyes.
She then asked again.
“Are you going to fix it?”

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR

iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?

... He painted (The Last Chapters)

... He painted.

I was taking all my stuff when my professor told me to go to his office. It’s been a year since I studied in this university. It was hard to communicate at first but the people here were welcoming and friendly. It’s been a year, too, since I last saw her. Before I went to this place, I decided to just let it go. I realized that it would never work out. She never liked me. She never did and never will. But..


“I like you to meet my wife,” I was standing in front of a beautiful, young lady. I looked at my professor again who was almost bald and in his forties. He laughed and the lady smiled.

“I was just kidding, Jerry. She’s my daughter. I figured that since you are one of the best artists here, I want you to meet her. She’s also good in arts. She will be your personal teacher,” the lady bowed and I bowed as well as a sign of courtesy.

We started our session together the day after. She was always smiling and very lively. She was good in sculptures. She was also a very good teacher and gave me a lot of tips. She was three years older than me and a graduate in the same university.

“Can you paint me?” she asked me, all of a sudden.

I was stunned, of course. She was beautiful and my classmates confessed they were a bit envious of me. “Uh..uh..I..”

She laughed and said, “You don’t really have to if you don’t want..” I took my sketchpad and took a pencil. She smiled and positioned herself. I looked at her and remembered the times I tried skecthing a girl too. I just stared at her when she asked me what was wrong. I snapped myself out of my thoughts and smiled. I made a rough sketch.. Eyes.. Nose.. Lips.. I stopped. I took and crumpled it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Then I went back to sketching again. That was weird. But it happened again. I drew her. That girl. Not the girl in front of me but her. I crumpled it again.

“I think you’re having a hard time. Maybe next time?” she smiled and took the the paper. “I wonder who she is. She’s pretty.” Then she took her things and said her good-byes.

What was that all about?


The next time we had a session, she asked me who the girl I drew the last time. I told her, she was just someone I know, nothing really special.

She start waving her hands in the air.

“You know? I’m making these hands move and I could stop them, at my will.” Then she put her hands on her chest. “But I can’t make my heart stop unless I kill myself.”

She looked at me and smiled. “I sometimes wonder, why I can’t stop it.. Well, maybe because.. We are not supposed to dictate it. If we love someone but tries to stop because, we thought it is right, it’s like making a heart stop without killing yourself. You try so hard but it won’t.. stop. And it becomes tiring. It’s like trying to run away when you’re already caught. It’s like pretending when you are already figured out. It’s like splashing white paint, thinking it’s gone when you were just covering it up.” Her words that time made me realize things.I remembered the first time I actually became closer to a certain girl. I looked at her and didn’t notice I was crying already.

“Thank you.”

She pulled out something from her pocket. She actually kept the sketch I drew before.

“Are you still going to try stopping it?”


I said my good-byes to all my friends and professor. I learned a lot from this university. I gained a lot of friends. But if I were to keep one memory with me, I’d always remember the time when my professor’s daughter taught me those things. I went back. I will not run away. I will not pretend anymore. I will not cover my feelings with white paint just so I could ignore it. I..

LitTLe . mAkE-BeLieVeR . sTorYtELLeR

iF tHerE's sOmeThinG sToriEs TeLL, wHaT cOuLd iT bE?